u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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