end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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