I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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