Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
