Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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