I think im going to throw up on grandma
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
