whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
