there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
