Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm both gender and math confused
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
