i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
