Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
