i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
