I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
