I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's blow job season.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
soo... how was my night?
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