I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
