erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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