When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
