It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
