Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
