im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Life is so much better after having sex.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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