Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
