I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
