it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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