Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
