the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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