apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
