Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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