I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
