I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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