apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize