I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
