so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
