put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
