Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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