she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
