So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
