i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
