dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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