dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i need some magic done to my vagina
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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