I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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