Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
