Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
...so i touched it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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