sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
