i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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