Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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