when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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