Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
