More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
