I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
