why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
