I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
