i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
