there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
