I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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