Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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