your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I won the penis lottery.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
