Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
