your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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