I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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