I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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