Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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