you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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